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  Simon immediately regretted telling Olivia this, because he was giving her endless ammunition to make fun of him for weeks. She just smiled and said, “I think it’s great. He’s a great guy and if he makes you happy, the more time you’re spending together, the better! Now I realize I maybe shouldn’t be asking you this, because it was the reason we had our last fight, but what about Margeaux? Aren’t they dating?”

  “He says he hardly sees her these days. I don’t know, really. I haven’t had the nerve to ask him outright and shatter my illusions. But as you said, we both know she’s not the right girl for him.”

  “Exactly! Claim your man!”

  They both laughed at this comment, and Simon playfully wrestled and tickled Olivia on the couch. “Speaking of men, how is Justin?”

  “He’s good. We’ve been on a bit of a proposal honeymoon for the past week. But I needed some Simon in my life. I hate that we had this cold war between us. I can’t be without you for so long.”

  “Well, you know what this means, right?” Simon asked. Olivia nodded in agreement. It was their long-standing tradition to get cheesecake after a big fight. “I’ll go grab the cake and you get settled in. I’m glad you’re home.”

  Simon went to the nearby cake store and bought two slices of their favorite caramel cheesecake. When he got back to the flat, Olivia was in her pajamas on the couch, watching a scandalous reality show. She was loving the drama of it, and filled Simon in on the ridiculous storylines when he sat down next to her with the cake.

  “Listen,” he said, “I know you couldn’t tell because I was being such a neurotic mess, but I really am happy for you and Justin. I really am glad to be your man of honor, and I know he’ll make you happy. I just hope it’s a very long engagement so you don’t leave me any time soon.”

  “I know you are. You’ve supported me forever. I just want the chance to support you too. Which is why I’m so glad things are heating up with you and Ian. First a kiss on the cheek, then a declaration of mutual ‘caring’… what’s next?” she smiled.

  “Nothing more than working on a story, for now. I’ve become a bit obsessed with it. I spoke with Zuko this morning and he sounded like he was reconsidering moving forward. I’ve been trying to find a way to protect him while still getting the story out, but it doesn’t seem possible. And Cornelius threatened me too.” Simon filled Olivia in on his meeting with the vice rector. Her mouth was agape the entire time.

  “I just hope you’ll be okay. He’s only threatening you because he’s scared, you know that right?”

  “That’s what Ian says, too. They have a lot to lose if this story gets out. But I have a lot to lose too if they follow through on their threats.”

  “Well, this is a whole new Simon I’m seeing. Standing up to management, putting yourself out there for a story, even telling Ian that you care about him. I’m impressed, sailor.”

  Simon smiled, but he knew that he had not changed that much. He was still frightened of what would happen to him, and a big part of him was terrified of ever publishing the story. He secretly wished that Ian would take credit for it, or that there was some way out of it. But at that moment, he knew that he couldn’t back out.

  He decided to re-read his draft of the story before going to sleep, and headed back to the office where he kept the rest of his notes, leaving Olivia to her reality TV show. The night was definitely getting colder, and he pulled his jacket close around him. There was a light on in the office when he arrived, and he felt excited that he might be lucky enough to see Ian again.

  When he stepped through the office door, however, it wasn’t Ian that he saw. It was Margeaux, and she was sitting at his desk. “What are you doing at my computer?” he demanded, louder than he had intended.

  Margeaux quickly exited the window she was working in when she heard Simon’s voice, and turned around to face him, her face blood-red. “Sorry about that, old Simon. How are you, by the way? Sorry about using your computer. It’s just that… mine was switched off already and it’s been giving me problems lately and I just needed to respond to an email.”

  “I’d prefer it if you don’t use my computer next time, but rather use the one at reception. I have a lot of my work on it and if anything goes wrong it could be really catastrophic.”

  Margeaux seemed to regain her regular confidence then, or, Simon thought, it could better be described as arrogance. She walked over to him, “You know, Simon, you really should learn to back up your files if they’re so precious to you. No need to be all pissy. I won’t use your computer again. Jeez.”

  Simon tried to ignore her and walked over to his computer to open his draft. He had an uneasy feeling about Margeaux. She was acting strange over the past few days, weeks in fact. Simon knew that the competition for editor was getting to her, but he didn’t have time for her shenanigans when he was already under so much stress.

  He heard footsteps approaching the office door then, and he swung around to see an unfamiliar face, a man greeting Margeaux and saying, “Hey sexy, did you miss me? Let’s pick this up where we left off!”

  Simon’s eyes were ready to pop out of his head. He stared at Margeaux, whose own eyes darted between Simon and the unknown man. “What’s going on here, Margeaux?”

  Chapter 17

  The guy looked equally surprised, and said, “I mean, Margeaux, I have those… uh… files you asked for.”

  No one had moved. Simon continued to stare at Margeaux and the unknown man who had walked into the office of the Ridgemont Weekly. Margeaux looked like a deer in headlights, and seemed to be waiting for something to happen to ease the tension. The unknown man, tall and with extremely muscular arms, started to say, “Files. I was just bringing the files.” He wasn’t carrying any files, Simon noted.

  “Who is this, Margeaux?” Simon demanded.

  Margeaux turned to her male companion and shouted at him, clearly giving up any pretense that there was nothing going on between them: “Why did you have to walk in now, idiot? You know you need to be careful on campus. Useless.”

  The young man walked towards her. “You said there would be no one here tonight, so I wanted to surprise you. I thought you’d be happy to see me. And you said that Ian guy would still be away for a few days.”

  “This isn’t Ian. It’s just Simple Simon.” Margeaux had now fully regained her confidence, and was taunting Simon. “Why don’t you wait in your car for me, Theo? This won’t take long.”

  The tall stranger looked from Simon to Margeaux one more time before he retreated, rolling his eyes on his way out. Simon was furious.

  “So, this is what you’ve been doing instead of visiting Ian? Aren’t the two of you dating?”

  “That’s my business. No need for you to be involved, Simple Simon. Ian and I have a deep connection. Theo is just a friend.”

  “He definitely looks like more than a friend to me. Listen, I really don’t care what you do with your life, but you’re the one who was pursuing Ian, and if he’s still under the impression that you two are an item, you’re messing with my friend and I won’t stand for it!”

  “Friend?” Margeaux scoffed. “What are you talking about? Don’t fool yourself, Simon. Ian isn’t your friend. Let me spell it out for you: the two of you are not the same kind of people. Do you know that Ian is next in line to take over his father’s publishing business? People of that pedigree don’t associate with people like you. And why do you care so much anyway?”

  Simon became furious with her. She was one of the reasons that Simon had held back with Ian. He thought that there was something between them, and he thought, when Ian said that she was someone whose opinion he cared about, that it meant Ian was open to more with her. And now she was treating him like this. Running around on him when he was injured. “Listen, Margeaux, Ian is a great guy. He’s above all of the nonsense that you’re putting him through, and he’s above the shallowness that you’re clearly showing tonight. Wait ‘til he finds out what you’ve been doing.”


  Margeaux surprised Simon then: she gave out a loud, guttural laugh. She did not seem concerned at all about Ian finding out that she was seeing someone else. “Simple Simon, you’re so transparent. Transparent and pathetic. Do you really think that we aren’t all gossiping about your ridiculous crush? Do you really think we don’t know how you’re pining over Ian?”

  Simon was taken aback. How did she know about his feelings towards Ian? Was he really that transparent? He suddenly felt his stomach turn and a wave of embarrassment washed over him.

  She started again, “You will never be with Ian. He’s not even into guys. I don’t know what gave you that impression. And even if he wanted to be with a guy, he would never choose you.” Margeaux laughed again, relishing the moment of destroying Simon’s last shred of self-worth. “You’re pathetic for hanging on to him so long, running after him like a sad puppy, just waiting for something to happen. For months now we’ve been laughing at you behind your back. Everyone in the office. There’s no way Ian will ever feel the same way about you.”

  Simon’s head sank and he felt all of the energy leave his body. Margeaux’s words stung him to the core.

  “Listen, Simon, I’m starting to feel a bit sorry for you now. We can forget all about this and I won’t tell Ian about your silly crush on him. You can spare us both the embarrassment if you keep your mouth shut. Is it a deal?”

  Simon continued to look at the ground. He couldn’t bring himself to look up at Margeaux.

  “I’ll take that as a yes,” she finally said. “Cheer up, Simon. This is all working out. I promise when I’m editor I won’t take you off of news. You actually do have some skills at investigative journalism. It’s too bad you don’t have the follow-through.”

  She turned around and walked towards the door. As the final nail in the coffin, she said on her way out: “Ian will be with me. Even if he does feel something for you, he has too much to live up to in his family to ever be gay. He’ll marry a nice, respectable girl like me and all you can do is watch from the sidelines. It’s time you accept that and move on. I’m only trying to help you. You’ll be so much better off if you take my advice.”

  After Margeaux left, Simon sat down at his desk again. He felt empty. He was too broken to even cry about what she had said. Was it true? Would he only be hurting Ian by continuing to have feelings for him? Would Ian be disowned by his family, miss out on his father’s company, for being with a guy?

  He had been getting much closer to Ian lately, feeling their connection deepen as they worked on the story together, but maybe it was time to pull away from him for good. It was causing Simon nothing but pain to care so deeply about someone who couldn’t love him back. Not even if he wanted to. But the thought of Ian ending up with Margeaux… Simon couldn’t bear it. She was manipulating him, seeing other guys, using him for her own gain.

  Simon thought through his options. He could either tell Ian about all of it and risk Margeaux exposing him and embarrassing him, or he could pull away, let Ian make his own choice if he wanted to be with Margeaux. He pulled on his jacket and went out into the chilly night, trying not to let his thoughts spiral out of control.

  Chapter 18

  Simon spent the next few weeks working furiously on the story, trying to make sure that every detail was presented perfectly. He was growing a bit of an unkempt stubble, and he had even let his files fall into a state of relative chaos. Only one thing was important to him, and that was finishing the story.

  Ian had been texting him constantly, but he would only see him when they were working on the story together, and tried to avoid him at all other times. Despite feeling closer to Ian than ever before, what Margeaux said had stuck with him. Maybe he was just holding Ian back, and Ian really was better off making a perfect little life with a perfect wife. Simon didn’t want it to be Margeaux, especially knowing that she was seeing someone else, but what could he really do to stop her? She had promised him mutually assured destruction if he tried to speak to Ian about what she had done.

  Besides, he thought, if he wasn’t seen around Ian that much, the rest of the office couldn’t gossip about them anymore. He couldn’t believe what a fool he had been, trying to so desperately and so transparently chase after someone who was way out of his league.

  If he couldn’t have Ian, at least he could still be editor by writing one of the best pieces of investigative journalism the Weekly had seen in years.

  He sat in his room one afternoon. The sun shone faintly through his window, not as hot as it once was, and Simon scratched the stubble on his face. He stared at his computer screen, and realized: it was done. He had said everything he could say about the story, and it was finally in good enough shape to show others. He would have to get it to Ian soon, but first he wanted the one person most affected by the story to read it. He sent Zuko a message, It’s ready. Meet me at our regular spot and I’ll bring a copy along. Are you free at around 7? Simon didn’t know exactly what he was feeling. He should have been relieved, but he still felt uneasy. Perhaps seeing Zuko would give him a sense of closure.

  Olivia walked into Simon’s room then, carrying a mug of coffee, “Hey there, handsome stranger. I thought I’d bring you some refreshments. You’ve been stuck in here for so long I was worried you were dead and would be smelling up the place soon.”

  Olivia frowned as she walked over to Simon with the mug of coffee. “Never mind. It smells like you’re already dead. Are you keeping fresh, sailor? What if Ian comes over here and gets a whiff of this?”

  “He won’t be coming over,” Simon said, without looking at her. “Let’s not talk about him. Thanks for the coffee. Guess what? I just finished the article. I’m about to head over to see Zuko to let him read it. It’s a bit longer than I had wanted, but there was a lot to say. I found so much. Dawid Cornelius was apparently reported for assault before, but the charges were dropped. I also have some witnesses from the residence who gave me more details on how much abuse goes on, and how long Dawid had been planning an attack on Zuko. He was just waiting for an excuse. I think there’s a lot here.”

  “Wow, sailor, that’s amazing! I’m proud of you. Now you can finally get the recognition you deserve as an excellent writer… and hopefully get a shower and shave too. Seriously, I don’t know you like this.” Olivia looked around Simon’s room at the scattered files. Her eye caught the picture on top of his closet, the one that looked so much like Ian. She knew that Simon thought that she didn’t know about it, but she was secretly hoping to find it hanging on his wall again, or at least moved from the spot on top of his closet. Simon seemed to be regressing again, fighting his feelings for Ian, and this time it seemed worse than ever. But he wouldn’t talk to Olivia when she asked, and she was too afraid of setting him off again, like the last time they fought, to pursue it too aggressively.

  “I get obsessive about things sometimes. You know this about me. But the story is done. I better get ready to go and see Zuko.”

  Simon walked past her to the bathroom, not touching the coffee she had prepared for him. She wondered if there was something she could do to help him.

  ***

  Simon watched Zuko’s every minor change of expression as he sat reading the story at their favorite restaurant. He hoped that Zuko would be happy with what he had found, and how he had presented the story. It was important that the truth came out, Simon knew that, but in the end, it was still Zuko’s story, and Simon wanted his approval before he published it.

  Zuko read with a serious expression. He breathed deeply as he finally reached the last paragraph, and looked up at Simon. “This… this is it, Simon. They can’t deny it any more. Thank you for doing this. Thank you for writing this. Even if they come after me, and I expect them to come after me, it’s time for us to stand up to them.”

  Simon smiled self-assuredly. He had grown closer to Zuko over the past few weeks, texting him regularly and meeting for coffees and lunches. He had remembered how close they were in high schoo
l, how he had always looked to Zuko as both a protégé and an example of the courage he hoped to have.

  “Zuko, you have always been the bravest person I know. You never backed down to bullies, even in high school. You were always so open about being gay, and always going after guys you were attracted to even if you faced rejection. I could never be like that. I don’t want Dawid Cornelius and his father to take that away from you, to make you scared to be yourself fully. You shouldn’t have to hide from people like that.”

  “I know, Simon. I don’t plan on hiding any more. My only question is, why do you think that you could never be out and open too? What’s holding you back?”

  Simon considered the question for a bit. He had never really thought about it in detail before. “I’m… scared. Scared of what will happen if I go for it and if it doesn’t work out. Scared of what will happen to my future if I run into people with as much power as Professor Cornelius who also happen to hate others for being gay. And I tend to be attracted to the wrong guys. Like Ian.”

  “Ian Peters? The editor of the Weekly? I knew it!” Zuko exclaimed, excitedly. He grabbed Simon’s hands across the table. “He’s been flirting with you for months. I could see it all the way back on that first day I saw the two of you together, at the rally for Harry Baleka. The way he looked at you. The way he touched your shoulder. Simon, I’ve had some fun romances, but I’ve never had a guy look at me quite like that yet.”

  “What do you mean? How was he looking at me?”

  “I don’t know how to say this, Simon… He’s clearly in love with you.”

  Simon almost laughed when Zuko said this. He couldn’t possibly be serious. “You can’t tell that from a look, Zuko. I know he feels close to me, but I wouldn’t use the L word.”

  “I’m telling you. All of those books and movies I watch have taught me something, and that’s to recognize the signs of love.”